Sunset days....someone to care.

In the last one week I spend some memorable time with 4 Octogenarians. They are a stark reminder of what's in store beyond the busy schedules, the glitzy night life, the voyeuristic shopping and the ensemble of relationships that define each day. 

Some are lucky to spend the sunset days with a dear one. Among these 4, just one of them is blessed to live with her daughter. The rest of them where even more blessed to have found caretakers who are taking care of them than their children would have.  In HIS big plans no one goes unnoticed. There seem to have someone somewhere to be with us during our final days.

A big salute to that particular child or care taker who takes care of them as its not an easy task. There's one thing in common in all of these aging grandparents. They are child like. Childlike laughter, sleeping more during the day and less during night and childlike selfishness out of helplessness. Dementia and early signs of Alzheimer's makes the going even tougher for both. One fights with an aging memory that struggles to hold together the pieces of their being while the other garnering strength and patience to love them. 

Seems this is the first generation of Octogenarians since the global migration started. The population of parents whose children and grandchildren have been living in various parts of the world are increasing every day. The generations behind mine are fortunate to have larger families and to have a family house that is not always emptied by the last child packing his/her bag to move across the seas or in a bustling city in India that they choose to build a life and career. 

An occasional get together at the family home on a christmas day or a birthday marking a milestone happens as long as the parents are alive. Thereafter…. there is no reason to visit the family home which may have been passed on to one of the sibling. The framed memories on the stained walls remain endlessly waiting for a footstep on the dusty floors.

Its common these days for people to console their inner worry for the unknown sunset days with the thought of having enough money to find shelter in a old age home that provides all the comforts that may be required to have a peaceful exit. 

A prayer that someone somewhere cares everyone while the sun sets.

'CRY' to Kilimanjaro

Why do people trek to mountain peaks or to frozen poles for charity sake? Is it the call of the adrenalin or the affinity to a cause thats instrumental to do the unusual one fine day. Am not too sure what was the real reason for of a group of NRI bankers from across the middle east to group under the banner of 'CRY' to trek to Kilimanjaro. 

Its not something you would decide on a weekend friday morning out of the blue. My friend Vems who is part of this group, who has christened themselves as GMI - Group of Middle East Indians, has given up elevator months back. He climbs full six floors... a small change in routine as a first time trekker. I was a bit apprehensive that his veggie fed body pampered in the arabian sedentary life would commit to this 'call'. But then he seems to have taken it as a challenge.  

At the office, we had a laugh on dragging 'CRY' to this event. The general mood was, you publicity mongers! But seems like its been a tried and tested combo. It adds a purpose to the trek eventhough it may not have been an important thought at the planning stage. But eventually the purpose intertwines with the trek like two river-lets converging and flowing inseparable touching a lot of lives.

Wish all of them a once in a life time experience that they will cherish for a long long time. For some this may be a start for more trekking. For some this may unleash a blast of high altitude cold fresh air giving a whole new outlook to life. Among other things the experience may also prompt one of them to document the life changing moments and hit the print soon.

But then a lot of young lives will be touched by this experience. A 'CRY' from the peak.

How are you?

'How are you? ' comes so naturally to us to greet a stranger or to start a conversation. It must be the most abused 3 word phrase, only second to 'OMG' in the history of human speech.

On an average an office goer would utter the supposedly caring question with stoic siberian frostiness to a co passenger on the metro or while bumping on to colleagues in the elevator or as an opening line while placing an order at a cafe.

Each time one thing is common. Nobody expects an honest answer for the simple reason that people do not expect to hear anything other than 'FINE'. Or may be nobody expects one to confide in the environs of a metro, elevator or a cafe.

Just imagine the plight of a cafe steward. Hundreds of coffee freaks throw this line at him. He thinks: Damn, I have a low paid job which requires me to take orders for more than 10 different drink variants with 15 different flavours, where the milk could be skimmed, low fat or soya with the option to be served with or without froth or cream in different sizes further confused as Tall, Picolo, Primo & Masimo in take away cups or china. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Next time wish him a good day and save your 'how are you's' for a meaningful moment to express your love and concern for the special someones in your life.

Lost in thirties

A feeling usually referred to as midlife crisis. Its been starring at me from a few early mornings when one such morning I woke up from a dream with the urge to quit my job, count the things I want to do, the places I want to be and the people for whom I want to spend more time with.

Its not easy if you have a mortgage, dependents and not so an account brimming with liquidity. But that's not an excuse to stop living the life you want to. There are no easy answers, else it would not have been termed as a 'crisis'.

My colleague was at a saloon for a haricut and wanted a different look. The stylist ran his fingers though his thin short unruly hair, half of which have switched their loyalties to the silver shade. The stylist figured it all; 'oh midlife crisis sir'. Its so easily defined these days and people spot it with a glee.

Life is precious and you dont want to wait to recover from an illness or tragedy to wake up and take notice of life. I still stare at the walls with lazy eyes these winter mornings...whats next? I think I know.